Archives Blogs
Airbags Deploy
AZ Diva
Blacwolf
Cleopetra
Desert Sabertooth
Kallaris
Kamo 2
Rusty
Scootersoo
The Duct Tape Fairy
Vince
LJ friends
Cordilleran
Enayla
Icchan
Jerad
Jey
Pooka pest
Shiniki 2
Shinzakura
Star sign
Yukie
Links
Home:Crystal Ball
this page best viewed at
Name: Clawed and Shadow
Occupation: Chewtoy.
Current Hobbies:
RPGs!
AIM: MadClawed
45.3% corrupt
And the silence of the shining stone
powered by: Blogger
Company of Shadows
The Nightshade and Dark
Adventuring Company
1024x768 or higher
Buy me things?
28.0% pyro-pure
34% wierdness-pure
81.8% insane
66.6% pure gamer
like the shattering crystal of the poet cries:
"I the enigma undefined,
the error of my age;
the players and the play defamed
that tread a timeless stage.
Ay! both hero and the rake,
of tragedy and of comic parts;
the dirge at many a wake
and the wit that veins the farce."
Oscar Wilde
Song of the Moment/Day/Month: "halleluia" from Shrek
::screams and breaks down in pure and utter frustration::
Did you ever have one of those days?
For the last month the only thing on my mother's mind concerning me is "have you registered for classes?" Never mind the fact that since I am no longer a member of the honors college, it isn't just go down the hall and knock on glen's door. No, it's try to find a time when the biology advicement center is open and you don't have class. Translation: I got in to see an advisor the week before finals. Which means I didn't hav e time to register when I was in flagstaff.
The advisement center is now closed. Until January.
I will admit I should have tried to register earlier this week, but I didn't, so sue me. This morning I finished up a few things I needed to do outside before the weather got cold aand nasty (big black clouds on the horizon- sounds about like my mood.) Then I came in and got online (after waiting for my Dad, the source of most of my problems, to get off the phone) got LOUIE's website, and discover that I have a hold on my account because it needs to be activated. I need to see my advisor.
I have seen my advisor. I won't be able to get in to see another one until january.
But, I thought, I can handle that. Until my dad figures out what I'm talking about.
Lemme back up here a few ... decades ... and explain my dad. See, This is the Second Time Around for him. I have an older half-sister who ... well, lets just say things haven't always gone so well. So, he's a bit possessive.
wait, did I say a bit? I mean posessive as all hell. I mean that if he had a choice he would keep me confined to this house where he would never have to take his eye off me. That kind of posessive.
That, and he has a temper. I know this, I've always known this. And I should have found an excuse to leave the country this morning when he came through the kitchen complaining to me about Sam, whose only crime was leaving her shoes in the middle of the living room.
Then, he gets a call from the EPA about a job he's doing for someone else. I don't know the details, but apparently there are reports not being filed correctly and now they're breathing down his neck. So the guy on the other end wants to know where the missing reports are. A session of phone tag ensues, because Dad is in and out of here and the guy gave him the wrong phone number - a number that he didn't know no longer worked.
So I become the recipient of a string of cursing and swearing at the phone, and the guy on the other end of it, until I dig out the correct phone number - and then I get to listen to a tirade on how "1-800 numbers are set up so that they don't work, and I don't understand these *^$#* automated teller things, why can they just have a person to bitch at?" I swear that is almost verbatim.
So by the time he gets through, confuses the poor EPA agent, screams at him that it's not his fault and they should be sending all this *%$&* to the woman he works for, I'm sitting here at the computer wishing I were somewhere like, oh, say, iceland.
In the meantime, since he's on the phone, I've been working on the DM screen. I finally found wood, and was painting it black for the edges (I's very prouyd of this screen and if I get a single comment out of any of the gaming group about this they just might find themselves minus some body parts with the excpetion of Bird who helped me build it.) I had the TV on in the background, since we don't have cable and get only about six viewable channels, I had on "Martha Stewart" or somehthing. Well, the hour had passed, and it was a soap opera now. So Dad hangs up the phone and procceeds into a tirade about Soap Operas and how They Made No Sense and Should Be Banned or something inane like that.
Then, I ask if he wants the phone.
That was my mistake. If I had kept my mouth shut I would have been relatively unscathed. But I've lived with this kind of behavior for twenty years and I'm sick of it. Another two weeks of this and I won't be fit to be in decent company.
He asked me what I was working on. I tried to explain, but Dad treats D&D like a cross between some amusing child's game and the work of the devil. so I just let it go.
Then I discover that I've been "deactivated" and decide to call NAU.
Well, I got a student in the biology office and she had to keep asking her supervisor what to do. As I patiently explained and reexplained, Dad is sitting in the chair next to me complaining, in a louder and louder voice, that *and I quote* "These niggers and bitches that they have running these goddammed places can't even read and write, and the spics aren't any better - it's probably some nigger-spic cross who can't spell her own name they've got in this place. I don't understand why these people just don't care - of course if you'd spent more time studying then playing that dammned "Dungeons and Dragons" or whateverthehell you call it, you wouldn't have the grades you do and you might just have gotten registered too - I don't understand why we pay for college when all you do is sit around and play these goddammed games - you're as bad as your sister, none of you ever want to do anything you're supposed to do."
What could I do? I tried - very hard- to keep my mouth shut, because Dad is as stubborn as they come and anything I say would make things worse. But I couldn't. So I tried to defend myself, and got, for my trouble, a door slammed in my face as he left.
And now I'm mad. Mad at myself for not doing this sooner, mad at NAU for screwing my registration up again, mad at Mom because I can hear the conversation when she gets home, something along the lines of "why didn't you register sooner? I don't care that you had other things to do..." and so on, mad - furious- at Dad for being so egotistical and bigoted, and for making me feel so intelligent and worthwhile and posessing any common sense, and ashamed of both him and me, that he is that way and that, every once in a while, I find myself thinking that way. I try not to, but after twenty years of that idea as a mantra, what can I do?
I am so sick of my family somtimes... and I'm here in camp verde with nowhere to go.
And, to top it all off, he's virtually forbidden Sarah and I to drive to Sedona to see LoTR. I get to wait until January, when I will be lucky if it's still playing in flagstaff. I mean, he doesn't have to go. And now I don't dare touch my GM stuff either. And my computer games are in flag, along with the only computer we have that will play them (this thing is 7 years old and has less than 900MB free on a four G hard drive. If I even think about loading Icewind Dale on here, it crashes.) Trapped.
Well, that's my rant for the month. Sorry to scream like that, but I'm sick and tired of being told "just let it go, he'll get over it." Why should I have to tiptoe around him just becasue he's a bigoted, egotistical, bastard with his head up his ass?
Anyway..... i really did get on here to do a bit of social blogging.
Kallaris, I agree with the greyhound thing, although in my experience the buses usually run, at least. But I remember one trip where we were left nearly stranded in San Diego due to a lack of reliable bus service.
Bird, at least you have your computer. And, if I get to flag and hastings, I'll look, but no promises. You could try emailing Shaila, she'd know. I can send you her address if you want. And the War with Sam continues... today it was the Battle of Two Girls and One Bathroom...
Ragabash, that's too bad you have to sell off your sharp and pointy things... but if you'll give the auction number out I will go look and see if I might give one of them a new home... I hope the situation isn't a situation for long.
Icchan - the Alliyah thing is creepy.
There was more I was going to say, but can't think now. Sorry if I've offended anyone, that was never my intention. I just needed someone to rant to, and youall are available.
fun,fun,fun. A break-in at McConnel Hall on campus, and a football player arrested for it. Res Life is "not sure how this will affect his status as a student." yeah, right.
And a body found at a camp ground outside Camp Verde. The only time we make it in the news is over dead bodies.
Of course, the news just listed the high in Flag as being a "very pleasant" 42 degrees. :-D I love being down the valley.